Confused....

I just can't take it anymore!!! I put myself in a dire situation and fret about it all the time. I have been having this 'EMO ATTACKS' since last year. I would rather have heart attacks than EMO ATTACKS! It's painful and i mean it! Even my friends are noticing changes in me. I just wanna be myself again but the situation that i've put myself in, i just can't seem to come out from it.

Everytime when i think about that person, i constantly ask myself, WHY NOT ME? I know i'm being very selfish but in life, i'm sure you want things your way. So far, i've never achieved such things. Just when i thought i have found the ONE, GOD had other plans for me. However, i wished that GOD abolished that plan and made me unite with the UNITE.

We still keep in touch but i just find it to be awkward to call her MACHI. It's just plain delusional! She has found the ONE now and i'm happy for her. It's just that some thoughts about her bother me all the time.

I still remember the times we used to talk for three hours on the phone, webcam chat on MSN and etc. It was just surreal. I wished i could do that almost everyday. At times, i can even feel her presence. I just feel like hugging her when she feels cold, comfort her when she is in pain, kiss on the forehead when she needs strength, look at her eyes all day long and watch after her when she is sleeping tight.

People tell 'Find another chick dude!!' It's easy to find but the chemistry. I just don't feel it. I don't have the mood to check out girls these days. Whenever i check out girls, one thing which springs to my mind is HER. I just can't seem to get her out of my equation.

Let me be honest, Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Asin, Beyonce and Angelina Jolie might turn me on. She, turns me off and brings me to a whole new dimension. It may sound complex, but love can do wonders.

I'm just praying that time will heal things and change my situation. If i keep on thinking about this, i will never move on. I will be stranded and bloody clueless. I just need some changes.

Help is what i need and hopefully things will change for good.

Kudos

=(