Songs can really impact your life. One very good example is Michael Jackson. He has enlightened many people’s hearts and penned songs that have impacted many lives. In my case, he has always been a source of inspiration to me. I don’t know what made me to write this, but sometimes loneliness can really make you do things that you don’t want to do. For the past few days, I’ve been blighted by this bout of loneliness. I just don’t know why? At times I feel abandoned even though I have friends and family behind my back. Why is this happening?
Songs such as Mazhaiye, Mazhaiye ( Rain, Rain ), en kadhal solla( I tell my love ), oru devathai( one angel ) and oru kal( one stone ) has deeply infected me with this sense of insecurity and loneliness. I try hard not to hear these songs, but my heart says LISTEN TO IT! I just can’t take the fact that I’m being influenced by songs which are meant for entertainment purposes only. This happens to me all the time!
A small part of my heart says I’m contented with life but there is a small part in my heart which is affecting me the most! Everyone seems to have this problem. That problem is hard to be abolished unless you find that special person. That is LOVE. Some people might say Love is complicated and never to be trusted at all cost. In my family life, I’m pretty contented with my parents and my brother. They are showering me with lots of love and they are the ones who sculptured me.
However, I’ve always had this intention of having a life partner and sharing all my stuffs with that particular person. For the past few days, I have been bothered by thoughts of this person. The more I communicate with that person, the more feelings I develop towards that person. I just can’t stand the fact that I have to keep that feelings to myself and not tell it to her. This has been happening to me for the past few weeks. The moment I went berserk was when she showed a video of a guy confessing to a girl. At that point, I seriously felt like confessing and just be frank about it. I’m a person who hates to keep things to myself.
Every day, I constantly think of her. At times, I try to ignore that thought but it will never go away. Every guy would always say this, I will find that ONE. This year, my heart says I have found that ONE. However, it is going one sided. Some of my friends have told me to ignore her. How am I supposed to do that? She is written on my heart already. I cannot take that ink away. If it happens, the consequences would be dire. Even though, I have already lost hope on her but I can’t seem to find other girls enticing. She certainly has written something deep in heart that it cannot be taken away. She might not realize it but man, it has impacted me.
In my mind, I might be an insane writing this. My heart though says write this. This essay will constantly remind me of the cruelty of life. Sometimes you can’t seem to get the thing that we treasure the most. You can call me an emo freak or emotional induced human but this is the fact. I’m sure there are many guys out there who have the same thoughts as me. They just express it in different ways.
I’m just hoping that time will heal things and make me a better person. I used to be the happy go lucky guy who loves to entertain and joke around. The tide has changed. I’m certainly a changed person. Life can be very damning!
0 comments:
Post a Comment